


I'm Holding on for Dear Life

by Huke_Lemmingsx



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety Disorder, Ashton is small, Boyfriends, But I'd be happy to let someone else do it, But not all of it, Depression, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, It's not all sad, M/M, Maybe Smut????, Panic Attacks, Sad Ashton, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Teenagers, i can't write it, it's sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 10:54:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6751159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huke_Lemmingsx/pseuds/Huke_Lemmingsx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The new school year is usually hell for 17 year old Luke Hemmings. It means homework, detention and having to socialise with the people he hates. But there's definitely one thing he didn't see coming this year, and his name is Ashton Irwin. </p><p>Ashton Irwin hated life. How can you expect him not too? He was bullied, he had no friends and now starting at a new school where he knew nobody. He hadn't even started yet and he knew it would be hell. He was just trying to make it through the school year without killing himself. </p><p>What happens when broken boy meets...Luke Hemmings????</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Everybody's got their Demons

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO! I'm back!!!! I'm so sorry for not updating my other story (If you read it) (It's 'New Generation') But I've been having some major lack of inspiration, I just can't find anymore ideas to it :/ If anyone has ideas or prompts that they'd like to see in that story just message me on here and I'll work something out, it would be a BIG help :) 
> 
> You might have already read this story and are thinking 'Why is she putting this back up when it was taken down half way??' well it's under new management and hopefully it's good??? 
> 
> Please enjoy!

“Ben I swear to God!” 17-year-old Luke Hemmings shouted exasperatedly at his older brother, “If you don’t put that down right now, I will skin you alive while you sleep!” he threatened. Ben laughed in his younger brother’s face as he dangled the old, barely there, black notebook in front of his face. 

“Why Luie?” Ben asked laughing, “Don’t want anyone reading your diary and telling everyone your secrets?” Luke rubbed a hand over his face as he let out a frustrated groan. 

“For the last time!” Luke said annoyed, “it’s not a fucking diary, it’s just my notebook, I write song lyrics in there!” but that seemed to be the wrong thing to say because Ben’s eyes lit up as soon as the words came out of his little brother’s mouth. 

“Oh song lyrics” Ben said with a some what evil glint in his eyes, “Maybe we should just have a little read-“ 

“Stop teasing the baby giraffe…” Jack said as he came into the lounge, slapping Ben on the back of the head and snatching the book out of his hands. 

“Oh come on Jack…” Ben whined rubbing the back of his head, “Give it back! It was just about to get interesting”. Jack just ignored his older brother as he walked over to Luke and handed him his book. 

“Thank fuck for that…” Luke mumbled as he reached up for it. Jack smirked and raised an eyebrow at him as he held it above Luke’s reach. 

“Watch the mouth there sailor” he smirked, “Wouldn’t want mum to walk in and hear her baby boy cussing” as he finally put the book in Luke’s awaiting hands. 

“Please…” Luke scoffed as he flipped through the notebook to make sure Ben hadn’t touched it, “One teary eyed, puppy dog look from me and I’ll have her believing Ben corrupted me”

“Hey!” Luke heard Ben shout as he left the lounge and made his way up to his room. He loved both of his brothers but God, were they a pain in his ass most of the time. He had very different relationships with both of them, like with Ben, it was more banter and arguing, but he had always had a special connection with Jack, maybe it was the closeness in age? No one knew. Jack had always been the brother Luke would go and talk to if something was wrong; he had always been the brother who he would share a bed with when he got scared of thunderstorms. It had just always been like that. 

As Luke walked into his room, he took in the sight of the many CD cases, the clothes and all the sheets of music strewn around his bedroom floor, before jumping on top of is bed and letting himself be molded into the soft bed spread and sheets. He put his headphones on and shut his eyes, the sound of Blink-182 lulling him to relax. Suddenly that relaxation was taken away when he faintly heard the sound of his door opening, he took off his headphones and turned his attention towards his mum, Liz, who stood in the doorway. 

“Hey honey, I’m just going to the shop to get some things for tea” she stated as she pulled her car keys out of her handbag. “Do you want to come with or stay here and keep an eye on your brothers for me?” she looked at him with a sheepish smile and an almost begging look in her eyes. Luke rolled his eyes at her but nodded. 

“Yeah it’s all good mum” Luke waved his hand at her, “I’ll stay home with the dipshits” 

“Be nice to those dipshits…” Liz said as she pointed a finger at her youngest. “Make sure Ben doesn’t try to cook and make sure Jack doesn’t kill him” she called out as she walked out of his room. 

“I’m the youngest!” Luke protested, “Why do I have to babysit them?” he groaned as he heard the front door slam shut. 

“No! Ben! Put the frying pan down!” 

***************************************

“Luke!” he heard his name being called by Jack half an hour later. When he didn’t answer he heard footsteps as his brother bounded to his room. 

“What?” Luke drawled out as Jack opened the door and popped his head through. 

“Calum and that platinum blonde weirdo are at the door again?” he said as Luke got off the bed and walked down to the door with Jack right behind him. “Do they ever go home?” 

“I’m surprised they even knocked this time…” Luke mumbled, remembering all the times his best friends have just opened the front door and waltzed in like they owed the place. Just before he reached the door he saw Ben putting on his shoes and fixing his hair in the mirror, he raised a questioning eyebrow at his older brother. 

“Jack and I are going out to meet Celeste and some of her lady friends…” Ben smirked and wiggled his eyebrows while Luke rolled his eyes as he opened up the door and saw Calum and Michael standing there. 

“Su’p Lukey Boy?” Michael said as soon as Luke came into view. Luke moved aside so the two of them could pass, just as Jack and Ben walked out. 

“Mum’ll be home soon Luie, don’t wait up” Jack said without turning around as the two Hemmings brothers made their way to Ben’s car. Luke rolled his eyes and then snapped his head back to his two friends as he heard a snicker. 

“What?” he asked confused, noticing Michael’s smirking face and Calum’s sparkling eyes. 

“Luie….” The dark haired boy drawled out, smirking again as he noticed the blush form on Luke’s neck. Luke just mumbled a “Shut up” in their direction as the three of them walked up to Luke’s bedroom. 

“Dude I’m so not ready for school tomorrow…” Michael moaned out as he flopped on to Luke’s bed. 

“We should skip” Calum suggested as he went and sat at the desk chair. Luke scoffed as he went down and sat down next to Michael, resting his back against the wall and laying his legs over Michaels. 

“It’s the first day of school you dickhead” Calum making a disgruntled sound, “We can’t skip, suck it up….” 

“At least we’re in the same homeroom guys” Michael spoke up, “Bestest friends forever!” he squealed out overdramatically as he pulled Luke down into a hug. 

“Ow – fuck, Michael!” Luke groaned as his head hit the wall, pushing the dyed haired boy away.

“Fuck, Luke!” Michael moaned, as he picked himself up off the floor from where Luke pushed him, Calum dissolving into giggles in the background as Luke just flipped him off.


	2. Even Wide Awake or Dreaming

The next day, when Luke walked out to the picnic table he and his friends ate lunch on; he shot an amused look to Calum who was rubbing his hand up and down Mikey’s back, who was laying with his head in his arms. 

“What’s up with you?” Luke asked the teen as he sat down and pulled out his phone. 

“He’s having a bad day…” Calum said with a roll of his eyes. 

“It’s only lunch time…” Luke replied back with raised eyebrows. Michael then snapped his head up and glared at Luke with an angered expression. 

“Yes Luke” he spat out, Luke raising his eyebrows amused, “It’s only lunchtime. And in this short period of time I have managed to get myself 2 detentions, yelled at by 3 teachers and I already have an assignment that’s overdue” 

“How is that even possible?” Luke mumbled allowed 

“I don’t know!” Michael said frustrated as he banged his head back on the table with a groan, ignoring the chuckles from his best friends. As the busy schoolyard began to settle around them for lunch, Luke took this time to see what this new school year had to offer. He turned around and noticed that he didn’t see anyone who he didn’t recognize, and that was odd because there was always at least one new student each year. He was just about to turn back around and pester Michael and Calum about it when a mop of curly blonde hair caught his eyes. The boy supporting the hair was walking towards the table a couple of rows across from them, at the other end of the courtyard, as Luke’s eyes trained over him he couldn’t help the small ‘whoa’, that fell from his lips. This boy was absolutely fucking gorgeous. He was dressed in black skinny jeans and a black long sleeve shirt that had ‘One big world full of fake assholes’ written on the front in thin white letters, he had black converse on his feet and was supporting multiple wristbands that decorated his arms. He was walking slightly slouched and had his arms tucked into his sides as he made his way to the table and sat down, quickly pulling out his phone and keeping his eyes glued to the screen as if he was scared of his surroundings. ‘He must be new this year’ Luke thought as he took the boy in, ‘I would’ve recognized if I saw him before’. 

“Luke…Luke…LUKE!” he was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of Calum shouting at him. 

“What…um…yeah?” Luke asked dazed, Calum and Michael giving him confused looks. “You said something?”

“I just asked if you wanted to come over after to jam a bit?” Calum asked giving him a look. 

“Oh yeah…sure that sounds great…” Luke mumbled as he looked around for the unknown boy again, only slumping in defeat as he realized he was gone. 

“What are you looking at?” Michael asked curiously as he lifted his head up and looked around for the source of Luke’s attention. He then turned his head back around to face his two friends, glancing at his phone before giving them his full attention. 

“Nothing…” Luke mumbled, after giving up on his search, “So what are we doing after school again?” Calum and Michael’s eyes lighting up at the thought of an after school band session. 

“Oh yeah!” Calum said jumping right in, “So we were thinking that we could try out this new song…”

**************************************

Math. Luke absolutely hated math. It was comically ironic because his mother was a math teacher. A fairly great one at that, he was also ridiculously good at math, he just hated it because it was so boring. No matter how many strategies Liz tried with him to make it more interesting, nothing stuck. Maybe that’s why Luke was currently on his way to the office for falling asleep in class. 

“Stupid bitch…” Luke mumbled as he remembered the way his teacher made a show to embarrass him in front of the class, before sending him out with a note explaining her reasoning for it. As he opened the office door and stepped inside the warm room, the office lady, Tasha, looked at him with a smile before he handed her the note with a blank expression. 

“Good seeing you Luke” she said to him kindly before reading the note. 

“Wait until you read the note before you say that Tasha” Luke mumbled as he watched her face turn from a smile into a disappointed look. 

“Really Luke?” she asked exasperatedly, “Sleeping again?”

“I can’t help it Tasha, it’s so boring, and have you seen my teacher? You can’t really blame me,” he whined out as Tasha rolled her eyes at the boy. 

“Ok…” she started, “Since it’s the first day, I don’t think the principal needs to know about this, I’ll just write you an excuse pass and you can go spend the rest of the period in the library studying” she gave him a pointed look. He just smiled sheepishly at her as he made a ‘cross my heart’ motion on his chest as she wrote out his note. “Ok just sign here…” she said as she handed him a pen. 

“You’re a life saver Tash…” Luke mumbled as he signed his name on the doted line of the note. 

“Trust me I know…” Tasha mumbled, as Luke went to put the cap back on the pen, the top half snapped causing blue ink to squirt all over his hands. 

“Shit…” he cursed as he sat the pen on the counter; Tasha looked up at him and then rolled her eyes when she saw the situation he was in. 

“Better go wash that off your hands Luke…” she spoke, “And don’t forget your note!” she reminded as nearly forgot. 

“Thanks again Tash!” he said whilst putting the note in his pocket and heading out in search off a bathroom. 

************************************

“M-Mum no I-I can’t!” Luke looked up from the sink as he was washing his hands. He wondered where the source of the voice was before realizing it must be coming from the closed stall. 

“Mum no” he heard the voice speak again, this time with a small tremble to it. “Everyone’s g-gunna hate m-me...Yes they will m-mum…I’m trying, I’m r-really trying”. Now Luke was certain that the boy making the phone call was crying. “Ok…I’ll try…I’ll s-see you at h-home…I love you too…b-bye”. 

Luke quickly turns around and tried to pretend that he wasn’t just listening in on a personal call. When he heard the stall door open and close he tentatively looked up in the mirror to see who it was behind him. When he realized whom it was it made his breath catch in his throat. It was the boy from this morning. He came out with his phone in his shaking hands, his eyes rimmed red and him sniffling loudly. When he lifted his head up and his eyes caught Luke’s in the mirror, his mouth dropped open and stepped back. Luke then turned around and gave him a small tentative smile. 

“Umm…I…uh…” the boy struggled to say, seeming to close in on himself. Luke stepped forward an inch and rubbed a hand through his hair.

“Are you ok?” Luke asked curiously, he watched as the mysterious boy moved back another step, as his body seemed to shake more. 

“I-I-I um…y-yeah I’m o-ok,” the boy mumbled out, looking down at the floor. Luke frowned at the action, not knowing why this boy looked so scared to be alone with him. 

“Well…I’m Luke, Luke Hemmings…” Luke said with a smile as he extended his hand out. The boy looked up at him through hooded eyes.

“I-I’m A-Ashton Irw-Irwin…” he mumbled as he reached out a shaky hand to shake Luke’s. Ashton. Luke’s face broke out in a grin finally knowing the mysterious boy’s name. 

“Nice meeting you Ashton Irwin” Luke smiled as he made a move to leave, before he left he turned around once more and caught the curly-haired boys eyes, “Oh and Ash…” he started, “No one’s gunna hate you” he shot him a reassuring smile as he left the bathroom, leaving a stunned Ashton standing in the middle of the tiled room.


	3. I'm the one who ends up Leaving

The next day, Luke was walking to his next class with Calum by his side, looking at the phone in his hands and not really paying attention to what was going on around him. 

“Do you think I should grow a mustache?” Luke snapped his head up with an amused eyebrow as he looked up at his friend, who was looking at him curiously. 

“What?” Luke asked amused, he watched as Calum’s face turned towards him with a serious expression on his face. 

“I think I need a new image,” Calum said as they wedged their way through the students in the hall. “It’s either mustache or I start smoking…” Luke made a face. “But my parents would actually kill me if they found out I’d started smoking and to be honest I don’t’ really wanna smoke in the first place”

“Well first of all…” Luke started, “Please don’t smoke, I don’t think I could handle that and I think Michael would probably cry” Calum let out a little laugh at the thought, “Also, dude, can you even grow any hair other than on your head?” 

“I’ll have you know that I have actually grown two more chest hairs since this time last year!” Calum said with a huff as Luke laughed. He turned his attention back to his mobile and ignored the playful glare that Calum was sending his way. 

‘BANG!’ 

Luke snapped his head up when he heard the loud noise echo throughout the school hallways. “What the hell was that?” Calum asked in confusion, Luke shrugged as he and Calum turned the corner.

“It was probably ju-“ Luke cut himself off as he took in the sight that was taking place right in front of his eyes. He saw Ashton sat on the ground, leaning up against the lockers, body trembling and hands out in front of his face in protection. Henry Walker, one of the most popular guys in school, and one of the most powerful bullies was standing above him, face contorted in disgust and directing all his anger towards the scared boy on the ground. 

“Whoa…” Calum observed, “What’s going on here?” but Luke didn’t answer, all he was focused on was Ashton, all he could hear in his head was Ashton. He ignored Calum and walked straight into the confrontation, standing right between the middle of them, straightening up to look intimidating. 

“Walker, what are you doing?” Luke asked darkly, noticing Calum’s presence next to him, it instantly making him feel calmer. Since Luke and Calum were on the football team they did have a reputation around the school, they didn’t like to class themselves as ‘popular’ but essentially that’s what they were.   
“Get out of my way Luke, this doesn’t concern you” Henry replied trying to advance but being shut out by Luke. 

“Listen just move along yeah?” Calum tried, “You don’t need anymore detentions, it could cost you some football games”

“But this fag needs a beating” Henry grunted, Luke’s eyes darkened as rage bubbled up inside of him, hating the way how those words affected the boy on the ground so much. 

“Listen, he doesn’t need any beatings” Luke spat, “Now you need to move along before I give you a beating and make coach bench us for the next 3 weeks…” Henry’s eyes darkened and he let out a grunt of disapproval. 

“Watch your back fag!” Henry spat before he turned around and walked down the hallway. Luke and Calum let out a breath of relief as they lost sight of him. 

“You alright man?” Calum asked as he put a hand on Luke’s shoulder. Luke turned to him and smiled. 

“Yeah man I’m all good” Luke reassured, he glanced back and noticed that Ashton was still coward against the lockers in fear, body shaking and arms still in front of his face, Luke frowned as he turned back around. “Hey Cal…how bout you go and find Mikey?” he suggested, Calum looked at him confused until Luke jerked his hand back to the scared boy. “I’ll just make sure he’s ok and catch up with you in a bit”.

“All good dude…” Calum agreed as he cast one last look to them and cleared the already bare hallway, leaving just Luke and Ashton in the hallway. Luke turned around and slowly moved closer to the boy, crouched down right in front of the trembling body. 

“Hey Ash…” Luke mumbled, “Do you remember me? It’s Luke…” When nothing changed in Ashton’s position, Luke frowned in confusion. Surely he wouldn’t be this shaken up by a shove. He reached out tentatively and lightly went to touch the back of Ashton’s chin through his raised arms, but immediately regretted it when Ashton flinched back violently with a yelp and hit his head hard on the lockers behind him. 

“Ahh…” Ashton whimpered out softly in pain as he brought his hand up to touch the back of his head where he hit it. Luke’s eyes widened at the red graze that decorated the right side of his face, just next to his watery eye. 

“Ashton what happened?” Luke asked frantically, “Did Walker do this?” he reached out to touch the side of his face but pulled back abruptly when he saw scared and frantic look in Ashton’s eye’s. 

“Pl-Please do-don’t hurt m-me…” Ashton whimpered out as tears threatened to fall, “I-I haven’t don-done anything, and he al-already knocked me pre-pretty good. Can’t y-you just lea-leave it at th-that?” he asked as he tried to scoot back further into the lockers. The scared voice he used absolutely shattered Luke’s heart. 

“Ashton…” Luke sighed, “I’m not going to hurt you, I just wanted to make sure you were alright…” He said softly, “Are you alright love?” After a couple of silent minutes Ashton let out a small sob as shook his head. 

“N-No…” he said between his small cries, “I’m not al-alright, I-I-I wan-want to go h-home…” Luke looked at him sadly and then leaned over to pick up Ashton’s empty bag, before sanding up and quickly picking up the sobbing boy’s books that were strewn all over the floor. He then hiked the bag up over his shoulder and reached his hand out to the boy on the floor. Ashton looked up at Luke cautiously, “Wha-What are you doing?” He asked through his tears. 

“You’re sad, hurt and you want to go home…” Luke stated easily, “What kind of a guy would I be if I left you here? So I’m gunna take you home Ash” he gave Ashton a reassuring smile. 

“N-No Luke you ca-can’t do that…” Ashton shook his head as more tears fell down his face, “I’ll be fine fo-for the rest of the da-day” he scrubbed his hands over his eyes to try and unsuccessfully wipe the tears away. 

“You’re crying love,” Luke said sadly as he crouched down next to him, but didn’t touch him. “I promise that you’re safe with me and I promise that I’ll take you home straight away. Come on Ash, it’s the worst thing ever to be upset while at school, you’ll be safe with me I promise” Luke watched as Ashton seemed to think it over in his head before wiping some more tears off his face before nodding slightly. Luke smiled as he stood up and help out his hand out again, Ashton looked at it warily before slowly reaching out and taking it gently, Luke softly pulling him up. 

“I ca-can…um…I can ta-take my…” Ashton trailed off as he slowly went out to grab his bag off Luke’s shoulder. Luke just smiling and moving back out of his reach. 

“Don’t worry about it love” Luke nodded at him as they began walking out of the school building, “I got it, you just make sure that you’re alright yeah?” Ashton blushed and ducked his head down. Luke lead him towards his old, beat up car at the back of the parking lot, he went over to the drivers side and unlocked the doors, opening his and getting in. After a minute of sitting alone in the car, Luke looked over and saw that Ashton was standing outside the door, tears still slowly making there way down his face and him biting on his nails nervously. When he caught his eyes through the window Luke gave him a reassuring smile and nodded his head to get in the car, after another minute Ashton slowly opened the door and sat in next to Luke. 

“You-You really didn’t have...t-to do thi-this for me…” Ashton mumbled slowly, still trying to wipe the wetness off his face. “S-Sorry I-I’m cry-crying so mu-much,” Luke frowned sadly at him whilst starting the car. 

“Love please don’t apologize…” Luke trailed off as he pulled out of the school, “It’s ok, you’re upset, you’re allowed to cry”

“Why are you-you being so ni-nice to me?” Ashton asked, not even trying to hide the tears rolling down his face anymore. “You d-don’t ev-even know me-me”

“Maybe I want to get to know you more Ash…” Luke turned and smiled at him, pretending to not notice the blush that covered his face and neck. “So love, where am I going here?”


	4. Make it Okay

Luke hadn’t seen Ashton in three days. Three days. He wouldn’t say he had been moping, but if you asked Michael and Calum they would tell you a different story, and they don’t even know what he was moping about. Luke had been subtly looking for the curly-haired boy for the couple of days, but having no luck in his search, leaving him disappointed and slightly worried for the other boy. 

“Luke!” Michael shoving his shoulder roughly snapped him out of his thoughts. He turned to look at said boy who was sitting in front of him with Calum on the grass-covered ground. He raised his eyebrows in question, Michael sighed as he started his question again, “I said, what the hell has gotten into you lately? You’ve been moping around all week and sorry man, but it’s getting on our nerves!” he motioned to himself and Calum who nodded his head in agreement. Luke pouted in fake annoyance. 

“Hey…” Luke drawled out, “I haven’t been moping…” Michael and Calum snorted back at him. “No it’s true! I’ve just been tired…” Luke deadpanned as he pulled at some grass underneath his hands. 

“Is this about that kid who got pushed into the lockers the other day?” Calum asked as Luke ripped chunk of grass out of the ground in surprise. 

“Wait, what?” Michael asked confused as Luke’s eyes widened. 

“This new kid was getting shoved around in the halls the other day and Luke and I stepped into help. I left and he stayed with him for a while after” Calum explained, Luke blushed slightly as Michael wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Anyway, man where did you go after that? We didn’t see you at all that day?” 

“Ashton was pretty upset so I took him home…” Luke mumbled, blush still evident on his cheeks. 

“Oh…” Michael smirked as he nudged a smirking Calum, “So…Ashton was it?” he asked. Luke nodded slightly, eyes trained to the ground. 

“Yeah…his names Ashton Irwin and he’s new this year” Luke mumbled back to his friends. 

“So” Michael started, “The Luke Hemmings I know wouldn’t even walk with me to the cafeteria the other day but apparently this new Luke drove a boy home he doesn’t even know just because he’s upset…” Luke watched as the two of them smirked at him. 

“Do we happen to have a crush on this new boy Mr. Hemmings?” Calum asked bluntly watching as Luke’s face turned a deeper shade of red. Luke was obviously gay. He hadn’t told his family but he’s pretty sure they already know, the only people he had actually told was Michael and Calum, and that was only because they forced it out of him. 

***************************************

16-year-old Luke was lying in his bed. Cover pulled up tight around him and he had his ‘sad songs for sad days’ playlist on repeat playing quietly in the background. Right now he might look overdramatic, hell he feels overdramatic, but at this moment in time he can’t really care. He had just come to the conclusion that he was…gay. He’d always thought that there was something different about him when he realized that prefer the touch of a boys lips on his instead of the too glossy feel of the girls lips on his own.

He’d been lying in his bed for over 4 days now, faking sickness to his mother, he knew that his family would be ok with this new discovery, but he’d somehow pressured himself into believing that they would hate him for it. He’d gotten countless calls and messages from Calum and Michael but he hadn’t been bothered to get up and check his phone that lazily sat on the edge if his desk. 

“Luke!” he was broke out of his thoughts by his mother shouting at him from downstairs. 

“Yeah…” he shouted back not bothering to turn over. 

“Michael and Calum are here to see you,” she shouted back, Luke sighed in annoyance. 

“Mum no, send them away I’m sick…” he called back, hoping his mother would get the message and just send his two idiot best friends home, but he new that that would be a long shot. 

“No it’s ok Liz…” he heard Michael call out from just outside his door. “We’ll get our little Lukey-boy up and running again…” Luke groaned as his bedroom door was opened, he pulled his covers up tightly around his body and wished his friends would just go away. 

“S'up sickie?” Calum greeted as he plunked down on the bed beside Luke’s feet. 

“Yeah Lukey where’ve you been?” Michael asked as he took a seat at Luke’s desk. 

“Here…” Luke mumbled voice muffled by his comforter.

“So what’s up? Jack said you were sick?” Michael asked casting a look at Calum before joining him at the bottom of Luke’s bed. 

“I’ve just been sick…” Luke mumbled out again hoping they would just leave the topic alone. He wasn’t ready to tell them the real reason he was away from school was because he was having his own sexuality crisis. He honestly didn’t know how they would react if he told them the truth. They’ve made jokes about each other being gay before but they’ve never actually had a proper conversation about it seriously. He wanted to tell them, maybe even get a comforting hug out of it but he was scared, he was just scared. 

“I think you’re lying Lukey…” he heard Calum mumbled out softly, Michael humming in agreement, “And do you know how we know you’re lying?” 

“No…” Luke replied, already feeling his eyes starting to water as Calum placed a comforting hand on his ankle.

“We’ve all been best friends since we were 3 Luke. We know how you act when you’re sick” Michael replied back to him, “When you’re sick you get bored after like the first hour and start texting Cal and I non stop throughout the day. Your throat gets really sore whenever you’re sick and you beg Ben to go out and get you ice-cream, then Ben texts us to go get it cause he’s a lazy ass fuck” 

“You take that stupid penguin toy everywhere with you and it’s not even in this room right now” Calum chimed in, “Also since when do you play your sad song playlist when you’re sick, you have your own ‘sick’ playlist for that” he finished using quotations. 

“So how bout you tell us what’s really going on with you Lukey?” Michael asked as he also placed a comforting had on Luke’s blanket covered calf. Luke let out a barely there whimper when he realized how well his friends knew him, of course they knew him well enough to know he wasn’t sick. Michael cast a worried look at Calum when he heard Luke sniffle. 

“I’ve just been thinking bout stuff…” Luke mumbled back to them as he let out another sniffle. 

“What kind of stuff Lukey?” Calum asked softly, all three of them feeling the seriousness of this conversation, they’ve never seen Luke act like this before and it was kind of scaring them both. Sensing the hesitation in Luke’s answer he decided to go on, “You know you can tell us anything Lukey-bear?” That’s what completely broke Luke, he’d been by himself for the past couple of days without really any human contact, and he’d been so insecure with himself and it had been eating up inside of him today. Now just hearing that comfort from Calum had officially overwhelmed him and he broke.

First his body started to tremble and his sniffles came out more often before he broke out in to body wracking sobs. Michael and Calum eyes had widened, they hadn’t seen Luke cry since he was eight when he fell off his bike and broke his arm, and he hadn’t even cried as much as he was now. Michael quickly pulled Luke up out of his blanket cocoon and pulled him into his lap, wrapping him in a tight hug, Calum quickly moving and rubbing his back, which he knew would help in calming their younger friend. 

“C-can’t tell y-you…” Luke sobbed out, “You’ll ha-hate me” 

“Luke we could never hate you” Michael said to him, “You can tell us you were a murderer and we’d probably help you hide the body then break you out of jail if you got caught” Luke let out a wet chuckle through his cries. 

“But seriously Luke” Calum said to him, “We will never hate you, you can tell us anything, if it’s making you upset like this then you need to let it out” That just seemed to make Luke cry harder, so he sat there for a couple of minutes with Michael racking him back and fourth while he cried his eyes out, before he sat back, tears still making there way down his face. 

“Promise you won’t leave or hate me?” Luke asked worriedly, he waited for there obvious response before continuing, “I-I’m ga-gay…” he said it. It was finally out there and he couldn’t take it back. He felt more tears in his eyes and soon enough he was sobbing again, he felt himself being pulled into familiar arms and then felt hands start to rub his back again. 

“You’re so stupid Lukey…” Michael whispered to him, Luke choking out another sob. “Why would we hate you for something like that, you can love whoever the fuck you want, it doesn’t matter who you want to date Luke. You’re still the same to us” 

“We love you Luke” Calum said as he kissed Luke’s hair, “This changes nothing ok, everything’s still the same…” Luke nodded into Michaels shoulder as he continued to choke out small sobs, but this time in relief that his best friends had accepted him.

*****************************************

Luke knew that there was nothing wrong with being gay, he knows that most everyone in the school knows because he was caught making out with his ex in the bathroom (oops), but he was still so insecure with himself about people reacting to the knowledge that he likes boys. He let out a sigh as he looked up at Calum and Michael, whose smirks were now replaced with small, sad smiles. 

“Now we’ve had this talk before Lukey” Calum said to him, “You know that being gay and liking other boys is ok right?” Luke nodded at them. 

“I know, it’s just a bit weird talking boys with you guys…” he replied blushing slightly. Quietly laughing at the appalled expression on his friend’s faces. 

“What?” Michael asked shocked, “I would love to talk boys with you, the whole shebang, I’ll even buy you condoms for you if you want” Luke spluttered. 

“Michael!” he said back, “I don’t need any thanks…” he replied blushing furiously now. Michael waved him off. 

“Anyway…back to this Ashton guy…” Luke groaned.


	5. See a War I wanna fight it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone reading/liking this?? 
> 
> I know the characters are OOC but bear with me here

Ever since Luke had told the boys about Ashton, after extreme begging, and about how he may have a teeny tiny (yeah…right) crush on the boy, they have been bugging him to go and talk to the curly-haired boy, who had been avoiding him all week. The last time he saw Ashton was yesterday, but it was just for a few short moments before the shorter boy had taken off after they made eye contact. It was really starting to confuse Luke, because he thought that he and Ashton were at least on talking grounds after last week. 

Luke sighed as he closed his locker and rested his head against it, closing his eyes, he then groaned when he heard two quiet thumps appear on the lockers either side of him, already knowing who it was. 

“Michael, Calum…please” Luke pleaded as he opened his eyes and turned around, seeing the two boys lean on the lockers next of him, “I haven’t seen Ashton all week, he’s avoiding me. I can’t literally force him to speak to me…” 

“No…” Michael drawled out smirking at him, “But we may have seen a certain blonde boy just go in to the grade bathrooms that no one ever goes into…” 

“I can’t just go ambush him!” Luke exclaimed, eyes wide as he looked to Calum for help, the dark-haired boy just shook his head in amusement. 

“Luke we’re sorry but we can’t stand hearing you talk about that kid one more time, you need to go and talk to him before we literally handcuff you to him” Calum said and crossed his arms. 

“Although now that I think about that…” Michael started, “He might enjoy that far too much for his liking Cal” he smirked at the now blushing blonde boy. 

“Fine, fine” Luke exhaled, “I’ll go talk to him now, just please don’t ever say that again…” 

“Our little Lukey’s growing up!” Michael sighed as he hugged him, “Now go get your future man tiger!” he said than pushed Luke away, he turned back to the blacked haired boy with a confused look as he made his way down the corridor to the bathrooms. 

***************************************

When Luke stepped foot into the bathroom he was relieved to find he did not hear anyone crying like the last time he was in here, but his heart did nearly jump out of his chest when he noticed the boy standing at the sink, looking with big doe eyes at him through the mirror. Luke gave a small smile and a shy wave, Ashton blushed slightly as he ducked his head and turned around. 

“Wha-what’s up L-Luke?” Ashton asked shakily. Luke frowned slightly at him, when Luke had dropped him off at his house, Ashton could say a full sentence to him without stuttering, now he seemed he was back to where he started. 

“You’ve been avoiding me…” Luke stated as he crossed his arms, Ashton looked down to the ground. “Why Ash?” 

“I did-didn’t know if yo-you would want to se-see me again aft-after last wee-week…” Ashton mumbled as he played with the long sleeves on his black sweater. Luke’s eyes turned sad. 

“Ashton I meant what I said that day” Luke said as he stepped closer to the timid boy, “I really do want to get to know you more, of course I’d still want to see you” 

“Are-are you sure tho-though?” Ashton asked timidly, “Cause last w-week I fre-freaked out re-really bad and I tend t-to do tha-that quite a lot” Luke smiled at him. 

“Well then I’ll just have to get pretty good at calming you down then love yeah?” he smiled at him, Ashton blushing again. Ashton opened his mouth and was just about to reply when the bell interrupted them, “So how bout it Ash, you wanna be friends?” Luke hoping that he’ll say yes because he really wants to befriend this shy awkward boy (And hopefully something more). 

“Ok…” Ashton nodded shyly as he watched Luke’s face break out into a huge grin, “I w-would love to be frien-friends with you Luke” 

“Well how bout I come sit with you during lunch love?” Luke asked loving the way Ashton’s face broke out into a blush every time he let the nickname slip. 

“Oh I-I usually just sit in the library for lunch” Ashton said as he looked down to the ground, “Out of habit I g-guess…” he mumbled the last part, hoping that the blonde boy in front of him didn’t hear. He did. 

“Out of habit?” Luke asked with a raised eyebrow as he watched Ashton splutter slightly. 

“A-At my old s-school I really liked going in there to read during l-lunch, so I guess it’s j-just stuck with me” Ashton said with non-convincing eyes. Luke obviously didn’t believe him, but left it alone for now. 

“Ok” Luke said as he turned around and started walking, Ashton growing sad at the older boy leaving as was about to make his way to the library when he heard his name. 

“Ash…” Luke said as he put his head back around the door, “I said are you coming?” Ashton smiled as he nodded and followed Luke out. 

****************************************  
“Don’t you want to go and sit with your friends though?” Ashton asked. Luke raising an eyebrow at him as they maneuvered their way through the crowd of students. 

“You’re my friend now as well Ash” Luke stated, “But the other two idiots I sit with are probably sucking off each others faces” Ashton’s eyes widening. 

“So they’re like dating?” the curly haired boy asked with wide eyes. 

“No they’re not, but everyone thinks they should” Luke said with a soft smile, they walked into the library and sat at the table in the back of the room. 

“So people h-here are like, ok, with that s-sort of stuff?” Ashton asked unsure as he got out his phone and sat it on the table as Luke got out his lunch. 

“You mean with being gay?” Luke clarified as Aston nodded nervously. “Yeah, this school’s pretty accepting, I mean you get the typical fucktard who’s still raised in the golden age, like Henry, who you already met…” Ashton shudders, “But everyone else is pretty ok” 

“So like nobody r-really cares if people come out as-as gay?” Ashton asked looking at the table. 

“Are you gay Ash?” Luke asked bluntly staring at the older boy, Ashton cringed then nodded solemnly. Luke grinned, “Me too” then chuckled when he saw Ashton’s head whip up in surprise. 

“You?” Ashton asked, “Y-You’re gay?” Luke nodded. 

“100%” Luke nodded then frowned, “Well like 99% if you count my unhealthy obsession with Ruby Rose,” Ashton laughed back at the blonde boy. Luke laughing along until he saw Ashton hadn’t got out any food. 

“Are you not eating love?” Luke asked frowning; Ashton whipped his head down to look at his hands before he looked back up at Luke.

“O-Oh, no” Ashton said shaking his head, “I’m just not hungry, had a big breakfast” 

“Ok…” Luke said, not fully believing him. Ashton and Luke sat at the big table at the back of the library all lunch, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Luke learned that Ashton had a younger brother and sister and was living with his dad before he decided to change and come live out here with his mum and siblings. Ashton learned about Luke’s home life and he got told all about Michael and Calum. By the end of lunch it was like they had been friends for years. 

“Ew…I have math now” Ashton groaned, Luke’s eyes lit up. 

“Hey!” Luke said grinning; Ashton whipped his head up and looked around. 

“What? What is it?” he asked as his eyes settled back on Luke’s grinning face. 

“You talked to me without stuttering!” Luke said happily. Throughout lunch Luke had been noticing that Ashton’s stutter was becoming less frequent and he was laughing along much more with the younger boy. Ashton blushed as he looked down. 

“Yeah…” he started, “I don’t really know why but around new people or when I’m nervous I stutter, it gets better though when I get comfortable with the person”

“Aw…” Luke said smiling as they both got up, he put his arm around the shorter boy, making him blush yet again, “You’re comfortable with me already?” 

“Yeah” Ashton said smiling up at him, “I guess I am…”


	6. See a match I wanna strike it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the 3 week skip, I'm just really bad at build up and I thought it would be good if we jump right in!

It had been three weeks since Luke started sitting with Ashton and he could honestly say that everything was going great. Ashton still acted shy and nervous around him at times but the stuttering during their conversations has disappeared and he seemed genuinely more comfortable around the taller boy. Luke hadn’t introduced him to Michael and Calum yet purely based on the fact that it took so long for him to open up to Luke, he feel like it would be a huge set back in their friendship if he met he two idiots he hung out with at this time. Currently the pair was sitting on the bleachers at their school. Classes had finished an hour or two ago so the whole school was abandoned, the two teenage boys sitting close together but silent as Luke watched Ashton draw on the sketchpad that was set out in front of him. He had an expression of concentration mapped out on his face as his hand moved fast but delicately over the paper, spare pencil tucked behind his ear and tongue sticking out slightly of the corner of his mouth. 

“How come I didn’t know you could draw until yesterday Ashton?” Luke asked in mock hurt, “I feel offended that I had to find out on my own as well, I mean just imagine what would’ve happened if you’d never dropped your sketchpad? I would never have know about your talent,” he said as he wrapped an arm around Ashton’s shoulder and took a closer look at the forest he was sketching. 

“M’not that good…” Ashton mumbled, blush evident on his cheeks. Luke grinned cheekily up at him, ‘God he was so gone for this boy’. 

“No, seriously Ash” Luke replied resting his head on top of Ashton’s, “You’re really good, I feel like I’m cuddling the next Picasso…” 

“Luke no!” Ashton laughed as he pushed him away.

“Hey!” Luke moaned as he flicked Ashton’s nose, “That was mean! I was just complimenting you and you pushed me!” Grinning as he heard the small giggle come out of Ashton’s mouth. 

“No that was mean!” Ashton giggled folding his sketchpad and putting it in his bag, “You can’t just flick my nose!” Luke’s laugh was cut short as he felt Ashton push him again, thinking quickly he gripped Ashton’s hand and pulled him down with him. Luke landing on his back on the seat, Ashton falling on top of him. 

“Oops…” Ashton spoke softly, his hands resting on Luke’s warm chest. 

“Yeah oops…” Luke smirked, bumping his nose against Ashton’s as he watched the blush coat the older boys face. “See this is what happens when you try and push someone off their seat Ash” 

“You pulled me down with you, I hit my foot against the pipe you dick” Ashton giggled as he bumped his nose against Luke’s again. Luke laughed back at him but then stopped when he saw Ashton lick his lips. 

“Have you ever been kissed before Ash?” Luke asked as he moved his hands up to enclose around Ashton’s that were resting on his chest still. He could hear the moment Ashton’s breath hitched and felt his heart beat faster against his own chest. 

“N-No…” Ashton mumbled out shakily, Luke gave him a soft smile. 

“Do you want to be?” the taller boy asked as he lifted his hand to brush the hair away from Ashton’s face. It took a couple of seconds, but when Luke saw Ashton’s shaky nod, he leaned up and captured the older boys lips in his own. It was only short and Luke could tell that Ashton didn’t have much experience, it may sound cheesy, but Luke can honestly say that it was the best kiss he had ever shared. “Wow…” he breathed out as Ashton pulled away. He frowned as he felt the weight on top of him shift, he opened his eyes and frowned even more when he saw that Ashton had now enclosed in on himself, his body shaking and him mumbling ‘no, no, no’ under his breath. 

“Ashton, love what’s wrong?” Luke asked worried that he had done something wrong. He leaned back up and put his hand on Ashton’s back but pulled away when the curly-haired boy flinched back. 

“I-I-I’m so sorry…” Ashton apologized, hands moving to uncover his face, “I’m r-really sorry, L-Lukey please don’t leave me, I-I promise I won’t do-do that again, r-really I-I’m sor-“ Luke cut him off by cupping his face in his hands. 

“Ashton, babe!” Luke said, finally getting the attention of the boy, he could see the tears and worry pooling in his eyes. “I kissed you, ok? I asked you if I could kiss you. I like you a lot, ok love? I kissed you because I like you” Luke finished, pulling him into a hug, he felt Ashton move his head so his face was now squished into Luke’s neck. 

“R-Really?” Ashton asked his hands fisting the back of Luke’s shirt. 

“Yes love…” Luke let out a little chuckle, “Don’t panic ok? You don’t have to apologize for something that you didn’t do. That was ok right?” Ashton nodded. 

“Yes that was- yes that was ok, it was good” Ashton rambled, blushing furiously as Luke grinned down at him. 

“Well in that case…” Luke mumbled, he leaned down and gave Ashton a quick, sweet kiss. 

“Wow…” Ashton breathed out when Luke pulled back.

“Yeah wow…” Luke grinned at him, “It’s late. We should go…” Ashton nodded at him and grabbed his bag as they both stood up. “Come on love I’ll drive you home…” Luke took Ashton’s hand in his as they made their way to the car. As they got in and Luke started driving, Ashton looked over to the other boy nervously, Luke noticed. “You alright Ash?” 

“Was I um…was it ok for you?” Ashton asked, fiddling with his fingers, “I mean I-I’ve never done that be-before and-“ Luke cut him off by lacing his fingers with the nervous boy. 

“Seriously, calm down Ash” Luke looked over and smiled at him, “It was one of the best kisses I’ve had, you don’t have to worry so much, not around me anyways” Ashton shyly smiled and gave Luke a nod, they spent the rest of the drive in silence. When they pulled up to the house Luke leaned over and kissed Ashton’s cheek. 

“I’m gunna call you ok? I promise” Luke said to him, Ashton nodded back. “I’ll hopefully see you over the weekend” Luke winked at him. 

“Ok, bye Lukey” Ashton said as he got out of the car. 

“Talk to you later love…” Luke called to him out the window before driving off. He had just pulled up to his house when it hit him, ‘I kissed Ashton’. 

Fuck. 

***********************************

“What the fuck Hemmings?” Luke winced. When he got inside he was relieved to see that he was home alone. He quickly ran up to his room and called Calum and Michael to come over, he’d just kissed the boy he’s been crushing on for weeks and he needed to tell someone. Now he’s not so sure he called the right people because right now, he was sitting on his bed with his head in his hands while Michael yelled at him and while Calum was leaned up against the doorway with an amused look on his face. 

“Look Michael…” Luke tried to reason with the red head. 

“No!’ Michael said throwing his hands up, “Don’t ‘look Michael’ me. You haven’t been sitting with us for over 3 weeks and then you call us up to tell us that you kissed the very person you had been ditching us for” 

“I’m sorry that I’ve been ditching you guys at lunch lately” Luke apologized, “It’s just I really like Ashton and he doesn’t sit in the lunch room so I go sit with him in the library and-“ 

“Luke! Shut up!” Michael said slapping on the back of his head lightly, “We don’t care that you sit with Ashton at lunch, it’s good that you have a crush. I just hate the fact that you waited this long to tell your best friends that you kissed the boy you’ve been crushing on since the first day!” 

“Michael I literally just kissed him an hour ago!” Luke exclaimed throwing his hands up. Michael pouted. 

“It was still too long…” he huffed with crossed arms as he sat down next to Luke while the latter grinned at him. 

“Aww Mikey are you happy for me? Do you miss me?” Luke grinned as he pulled him in for a hug. 

“Yes I miss you and yes I’m happy that you have your own boy now” Michael grumbled. 

“So are you gunna ask him out?” Calum asked as he went and sat on Luke’s desk chair. Luke nodded with a faded blush on his cheeks. 

“I was gunna text him tonight and see if he wanted to go out tomorrow night” Luke said, “Do you think it’s too soon?” 

“Nah man…” Michael started waving him off, “Ask him out, have a great time, take him home and then make out with him on the front porch for an hour or two? He’ll love it I swear” 

“Please Michael…” Calum snorted, “Not all dates end up like yours…” Michael leaned over Luke to smirk at Calum. 

“You didn’t seem to be complaining about it?” he chuckled as he watched he dark haired boys cheeks heat up. 

“Ew…” Luke said with a scrunched up nose, “Please, I really don’t want to know about the endings of your dates…”

“But I haven’t even told you about the ending yet” Michael winked at him. Luke gagged. 

**************************************

‘Hey Ash, it’s Luke! xx’ 

‘Hey Lukey… :-) xx’ 

‘So I was thinking… xx’ 

‘Yeah? Xx’

‘Did you maybe want to go out tomorrow night? Xx’ 

‘Like a date? Xx’

‘Yeah Ash, like a date. Haha xx’ 

‘Lol sorry, wasn’t sure. A date sounds good? Xx’ 

‘Does my date sound great? ;) Xx’ 

‘Of course it does Lukey xx’

‘I’ll pick you up at 8 yeah? Xx’ 

‘See you tomorrow night Lukey xx’ 

‘Bye love xx

Luke grinned as he lay down properly in his bed. He had a date, and he was going to make sure that Ashton felt loved by the end of the night.


	7. Every fire I've ignited

“Ashton!” he heard his mother call from downstairs, “Luke’s here”. Ashton took a shaky breath and looked at himself in the mirror one last time, making sure that he looked at least somewhat acceptable. He was dressed in tight, black, skinny jeans with holes in the knees, his black Doc Martins and a burgundy wool sweater that was a size too big, making him seem smaller than he actually was. His curly blonde hair sat messily on top of his head while his arms were covered in many wristbands. You can do this, he told himself before grabbing his phone and wallet and heading down the stairs, keeping his head down. When he got to the last step he finally got the courage to look up and see who was waiting for him, his eyes reached the electric blue ones he has come to know and his breath got caught in his throat. 

“Hi…” Luke said softly to him, smiling widely as he walked over and pulled Ashton into a quick, soft hug. Ashton smiled and then took in the teenage boy in front of him. Luke was dressed in skinny black jeans, black boots, and a black t-shirt with a red flannel covering it. His hair was up in his signature quiff, black lip ring secured tightly in the bottom of his lip. 

“Hey…” Ashton softly spoke back, eyes locked on the ground. Luke smiled at him and used his fingers to tap Ashton’s chin back up so he was looking him in the eyes. 

“You ready to go?” Luke asked, Ashton nodded shyly and they were just about to leave when his mother stopped them. 

“Wait, wait, wait!” Anne said as she ran over too them, Ashton rolled his eyes. “Now Luke…” she started Luke raised his eyebrows at her. 

“Yes Mrs. Irwin?” he asked nervously, she pointed a finger at him. 

“Anne please hun. Now I want you to take care of my baby tonight ok?” she said to him, “Keep him safe and please, please just watch out for him…” she looked at him with almost pleading eyes as Ashton hung his head with a blush coating his cheeks. Luke laughed softly as he wrapped his arm around Ashton’s shoulder, making the shorter boy blush even more. 

“Don’t worry Anne, I’ll keep him safe and we’ll have fun, I swear” Luke smiled at her. 

“I want him back by a reasonable time” she deadpanned.

“Of course” Luke smiled at her again before Anne went and wrapped her arms around Ashton, kissing the top of his head. 

“Be safe love, and have fun as well” Anne said softly into his hair. 

“I will, bye mum…” Ashton called out as he and Luke finally left the house. “So… where are we going?” 

“Well…” Luke started as they both got in and drove away, “I was thinking we would go get something to eat and then go see a movie?” Ashton smiled while nodding at him. 

“…And then he just got up and left, without even saying anything” Luke finished, watching Ashton erupt into giggles at his story of Michael and Calum. They were currently sitting in one of the booths in the back of the local pizza parlor, sharing a pepperoni pizza and making each other laugh with stories. 

“They sound really funny” Ashton giggled as he took another bite of his pizza. Luke looked on at him with a fond smile on his face. 

“I’ll have to take you to meet them sometime…” Luke grinned at him, Ashton with a small smile on his face. 

“Are you sure that they don’t mind me taking you away from them?” He asked nervously. 

“Nah Ash, positive” Luke dismissed with a wave of his hand, “They probably spend the entire lunch hour making out. Anyway, they said that they were sick of hearing me go on and on about how much I like you so much” he winked back at the now blushing boy.

“R-Really? You told them about me?” he asked back. 

“Of course I did love” Luke smiled, “Talked about you all the time, still do in fact. They want to meet you as soon as possible anyway” 

“I’d like that…” Ashton smiled up at him slightly. 

“Are you ready to go to the movie love?” Luke asked, Ashton seemed to look around nervously before looking back up the blonde boy. 

“S-Sure just let me go to the bathroom first,” Ashton mumbled as he got up and moved to the bathroom. Luke smiled fondly at him before noticing the little pizza Ashton had eaten, he had almost eaten half of his while Ashton had only eaten 2 and a half slices. 

“I-I’m back…” he heard someone mumble and he looked back up to find Ashton standing above him, face pale and hands shaking slightly. 

“You ok?” Luke asked standing up and getting out his wallet. Ashton nodded with a smile. 

“Yeah I’m fine, just felt a little light headed, but it’s all good” Ashton assured, “Let’s go to the movie” he smiled. Luke smiled back. “What’s my half?” 

“Don’t worry about it love it’s a date, I’ll pay for you” Luke assured as he handed over the money. 

“Fine” Ashton let it go, “But I’m paying for the movie” 

“Hmm we’ll see” Luke smirked as the two of them walked out the door. 

**************************************

Ok. So maybe it wasn’t a good idea that the two of them went to a horror movie. They were both seated at the very back of the theatre and  
honestly, Luke was scared shitless. The girl on screen was just about to turn the corner and Luke was pretty sure that’s where the murderer was. Luke was just about to scream when he felt a warm hand grasp his, hard. He looked over and saw that Ashton looked just as scared as he was; his hand was shaking slightly as it grasped Luke’s and his eyes were wide. Luke smiled at him slightly and held his hand just as tight. As the girl turned the corner the murderer jumped out, causing a small yelp to come out of Ashton. 

“You ok?” Luke asked after he also recovered from the jump scare. Ashton looked towards him and gave him a small smile. 

“Yeah” he nodded, “I love horror movies, they just scare me,” he laughed quietly. Luke nodded back ‘Glad he’s enjoying it’, Luke pried his hand out of Ashton’s and then lifted up his arm to wrap around the smaller boys shoulders, Ashton instantly leaning in to him. They spent the rest of the movie sitting like that, Ashton hiding his face in Luke’s chest every time he got scared or jumped. Luke also jumping and hiding his face in Ashton’s hair, chuckling into the curls each time. 

**************************************

“That was so bad!” Ashton giggled into Luke’s shoulder as they took a detour to a local park on the way to Luke’s car; hands locked and giggles escaping their lips. 

“Are you kidding me?” Luke asked as he looked down to the smaller boy. “That was scary as fuck! I was literally shaking!” Ashton giggled and looked up at him. 

“Aww was my little Lukey scared of a movie?” Ashton pouted as he pinched Luke’s cheek. Luke had to stop his breath from hitching when he called him ‘my Lukey’; he looked down at the boy and smiled cheekily at him. 

“Excuse me?” Luke asked, “I seem to remember someone clutching my hand so hard I thought it was going to snap!” 

“I wasn’t scared! I just wanted to make you feel better!” Ashton defended with red cheeks. 

“Oh yeah, sure” Luke scoffed, instantly knowing the other boy was lying. Ashton smacked his chest lightly. 

“It’s true!” Ashton said with a small pout, “I’m a big, strong, manly man who doesn’t get scared of anything!” He wiggled his way out of Luke’s grip and stood in front of him, chest puffed out with hands rested on his hips. Luke raised and amused eyebrow at the posing boy. 

“Really?” Luke asked, an idea popping into his head. Ashton nodded back, smirk on his face. Luke slowly walked up to the older boy and bumped his cold nose to Ashton’s and chuckled breathlessly when he felt the older boy’s breath hitch. “Cause I was thinking maybe you could be my damsel in distress?” 

“Does that mean you’ll be my knight in shining armor?” Ashton breathed out shakily, Luke laughed as he slowly leant down and captured Ashton’s cold lips with his own. The older boy’s arms came up to circle around the younger’s neck while Luke’s hands settled on Ashton’s hips. Ashton let out a small sigh when he felt Luke’s tongue flick across his bottom lip and opened his mouth to allow entrance, tangling his own with Luke’s. Only pulling away from each other when lack of oxygen became a problem. Ashton automatically looked to the ground as Luke leaned away, fumbling with his hands and a blush on his cheeks. Luke used his fingers to lift up the other boys chin, pecking him again quickly.

“It should be illegal for you to kiss that well when that was only your second one” Luke grinned into Ashton lips as he pulled away again. 

“So…that a-asking me to be y-your damsel in distress…” Ashton started playing with his fingers, “You we-were asking me-“ 

“Be my boyfriend Ashton?” Luke asked nervously, cutting him off. Ashton breathed out shakily as he took Luke’s hands in his and nodded. 

“O-ok, y-yes I’ll be your dam-damsel” he giggled as he pressed his lips to Luke’s once more. 

“Yeah?” Luke asked grinning, Ashton laughed as he nodded to Luke again. “Well then, as my job as your knight, I don’t think it’d fit for you to be walking in this park. It looks dangerous,” he said as he gestured to the deserted, dark, park. 

“Really?” Ashton smirked, “Well then what do you suppose we do with that knowledge sir Luke?” the taller boy smirked at him before leaning down to his ear. 

“This!’ he said as he picked up Ashton by the waist, easily slinging the light boy over his shoulder. 

“Oh my god Luke!’ Ashton laughed, “What are you doing? Put me down I’ll crush you!” he said as they continued to walk to Luke’s car, Ashton’s hands hitting the back of Luke every time he took a step. 

“Please Ash, you’re so light I could probably throw you to my car and not even break a sweat” he said not taking notice to how stiff the other boy had become. Ashton just hummed in response as he wrapped his arms around Luke’s stomach, hugging him upside down from behind. It took Luke all of 5 minutes to get back to his car and by that time he literally thought that the older boy had gone to sleep, just in case, he went around to the passenger side and opened the door, slowly lifting the other boy down and into the seat. When he looked up he saw that Ashton had curled in on himself and was breathing evenly with his eyes closed. He was asleep. Luke looked on with a small smile before reaching over the seats to grab his old grey hoodie in the back, carefully draping it over the boy who immediately curled in on it. Luke let out a soft chuckle as he shut the door and walked around the car to get in and drive. He drove the deserted streets softly humming to Ed Sheeran who was softly playing in the background, every once in a while looking over at Ashton who was now releasing soft little snores. It was 11:30 when Luke finally got back to the Irwin household, he contemplating just carrying Ashton inside but when he noticed all the lights turned off inside the house, he knew that everyone would be asleep. He got out of the car and went over to the passenger side, bending down and wincing when the cold air hit Ashton’s skin, making him shiver under the jumper. 

“Hey…Ash” he whispered softly shaking his thigh. “You’re home babe, time to go inside and go to bed” he stood up and pressed a soft kiss to Ashton’s forehead as his eyes fluttered open. 

“S’going on Lukey?” Ashton asked as he looked around, not knowing where he was. 

“You’re home now babe, go in and go to bed ok?” Luke said caressing his cheeks. Ashton nodded as he lifted his fists to rub at his eyes, nodding along. 

“Ok” he mumbled as he got out of the car, yawing. “Thank you for taking me out Lukey, sorry I fell asleep” he blushed as he went to hand him the hoodie back. Luke chuckled as he pulled the smaller boy in for a hug. 

“It’s ok Ash, I had a great time, you’re cute when you sleep” he looked down and laughed at Ashton’s flushed cheeks. He frowned when he pulled away and saw that Ashton shivered; he took the hoodie out of Ashton’s hands and lifted it over his head, Ashton giggling as he slipped his arms through it. “Feel better?” 

“Much warmer, thank you Lukey” Ashton smiled. Luke couldn’t help the fond smile that came over his face when he saw his boyfriend in his hoodie. He looked so small in it, the hem coming down to his thighs and the sleeves going past his hands. He was about to speak when he let out a yawn, cutting off his speech. 

“Go upstairs to bed love, you looked exhausted” Luke said to him, Ashton nodded as he walked over to Luke and gave him a quick chaste kiss. 

“M’never going to get used to that” Ashton said into his lips. Luke smiled as he pecked him once more. 

“Me neither, I’ll see you on Monday ok? I gotta help out my mum tomorrow” Luke explained. Ashton nodded at the taller boy. 

“OK, goodnight…” Ashton hesitated before speaking again, “Boyfriend…” he breathed out softly. 

“Yeah, goodnight boyfriend” Luke grinned at him as he kissed his cheek then watched as a blushing Ashton walked up to his house and let himself in. When Luke got home he sneaked up to his room and closed his door, about to jump in bed when a text stopped him. 

‘I had a really good time tonight Lukey, thank you for making it so special’ 

-Ashton xxx


	8. Faded to Grey

“Luke stop freaking out” Calum spoke to the younger boy. They were all currently sitting in the lunchroom at their usual table, Luke had (somehow) managed to get Ashton to agree to come and sit with them at lunch today, finally meeting his two best friends as his boyfriend. It was safe to say that Luke was a little nervous. 

“I can’t help it!” Luke said nervously, he turned his eyes away from the door and looked at his two best friends who were giving him knowing smirks, he made a face at them before unconsciously biting his nails. 

“Dude it’s gunna be fine, we’re all going to have a great time and when he gets here we’ll all get along fine” Michael smirked up at him. 

“Just please…” Luke sighed as he put a hand to his forehead, “Be gentle with him and please don’t like tease him or make fun of him alright? He’s special” at that warning Michael and Calum gave Luke a confused but concerned look. 

“Ashton’s ok thought right?” Calum asked, “Like that first time I saw him it was after he got hit but like he’s fine though…right?”

“No he’s fine…” Luke assured, “I know he’s hiding something from me though, and I can’t make him tell me because we just started dating. But I don’t know…” Luke sighed again. 

“That’s heavy man…” Calum said to him, “I’m sure he’s fine though, but if anything is wrong I’m sure he’ll tell you soon” Luke nodded along with him then looked up at his brightly colored haired friend when he gasped. 

“What, what is it?” Luke asked. 

“Luke why didn’t you tell me your boyfriend was so fucking cute!” Michael practically squealed. Luke was about to ask how he knew that when he felt a tentative tap on his shoulder. He spun around and his eyes widened when he saw who it was. Ashton. 

“Yeah, he fucking is isn’t he” Luke agreed as he smirked at Michael then took in the boy who was still standing hesitantly in front of him. He was wearing his black boots and black skinny jeans again, and his hair sat messily on top of his head, what really topped it off though was the jumper he had on. He was wearing the jumper from Saturday night. Luke’s jumper. The boy was still practically swimming in it, the hem at his thighs and the sleeves going way past his hands, giving him cute little sweater paws. 

“H-Hi…” Ashton said, eyes flittering around nervously as he tugged on the sleeves of the hoodie. 

“Hey baby…” Luke said softly, he carefully tugged Ashton down into the seat next to him and pulled him into a hug. “I really like that jumper” he spoke quietly so only they could hear, he then felt Ashton slightly tense up in his arms. 

“I ho-hope you don-don’t mind…” Ashton breathed out into Luke’s neck where his faced was tucked into. “I brought it-it to school to gi-give back to you but I go-got cold in 2nd period s-so I put it on” 

“Shh babe I don’t mind” Luke smiled even though Ashton couldn’t see from where his face was positioned. “You look really cute in it love.” He pulled back to place a kiss on Ashton’s cheek. He was going to say more but got interrupted by a throat clearing. He looked up from the embrace and saw Calum and Michael giving him mushy stares. 

“Lukey, introduce us to your boyfriend there” Calum smiled, Luke gave a breathy chuckle as Ashton moved away from his boyfriend slightly, Luke reaching out and taking his hand in his own as his hazel eyes lifted to see Michael and Calum. 

“Ashton, this is Calum and Michael” Luke said pointing to his best friends. “Calum, Michael, this is my boyfriend, Ashton”, Ashton gave a small tentative smile and a small wave. 

“Hello Ashton” Michael grinned at him, "We’ve heard so much about you…” 

They spent the entire lunch trying to embarrass Luke; it was pure torture for the blonde boy. By the start of the next class, it looked as though Ashton had always been apart of their little group. They found out that he was just as nerdy and awkward as the rest of them, he fit in great. Michael and Calum even gave him a small hug before Luke took his hand and walked them to their next class where they coincidently had together. Before they walked in the door, Luke pulled Ashton aside to stand near the lockers. 

“Do you care that people know you and I are dating Ash?” Luke asked softly. Ashton snapped his head up to look at the blonde boy who had trapped him against the lockers.

“I-I don’t mind Lukey, whenever you’re ready is fine” he stuttered out nervously, thinking that Luke would want to hide their relationship. 

“Well I think you already outed us babe…” Luke grinned cheekily down at him as Ashton gave him a confused look. “The jumper you’re wearing is my old football one. Love, it’s got ‘HEMMINGS’ written in big white letters across the back of it” Luke laughed as Ashton blushed at the new information. 

“I really didn’t even know, I-I’m so sorry Luke i-if you weren’t ready” Ashton apologized, Luke hummed. 

“So you said you didn’t care that people knew about us?” Luke asked just to make sure. 

“No Lukey of course I don’t care…” Ashton replied back a little confused. Luke grinned. 

“Good, then that means I can do this…” Luke then suddenly pushed Ashton back against the lockers, pinning his arms above his head and crashing his lips against the older boys. Ashton letting out a surprised noise but it quickly turning into a quiet moan when he felt Luke bite his bottom lip, catching Ashton off guard enough to slip his tongue inside the older boys mouth. 

“Luke Hemmings!” Luke quickly pulled away and smiled when he realized it was only Tasha. 

“Hey Tash” Luke grinned at her as Ashton cleared his throat and straightened out his clothes. 

“You got yourself a cutie here Lukey but you boys need to go to class” She winked at them before making her way back to the office. Luke turned back around and smirked when he saw the red tinge to Ashton’s face and his swollen lips. 

“Ready to go to class babe?” Ashton nodded with a small grin on his face and took Luke’s hand as they made their way to the classroom.

**Author's Note:**

> And as always I'm always a slut for kudos and comments ;) 
> 
> Em x


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